Loneliness is commonly given a bad reputation. Experts highlight the virtues of social connectivity; it is associated with a better immune system, better resistance to stress and even a longer life.
Being alone, on the other hand, equates with isolation very often. Research suggests that social isolation and loneliness increase the risk of heart disease, obesity, anxiety, depression, Alzheimer’s disease, high blood pressure and even premature death.
But research has also shown that there are real benefits when we find things to do alone. Doing things only allows you to enjoy the activities you love at your own pace and in your own way. Through solitary activities, you learn more about yourself and reflect on your experiences.
Being alone versus loneliness
While there is a wealth of research pointing to the psychological disadvantages of loneliness and social isolation, there is a growing amount of evidence suggesting that a certain amount of quality time in solitude is critical to well-being. Some things, this research suggests, you’d better do them yourself without other people’s distractions, opinions, or influences.
Although people sometimes fear isolation, research has shown that many people actually seek and prefer loneliness. His desire to be alone is strongly influenced by his overall personality.
Your preferences for loneliness play a role in determining whether being alone has a positive or negative effect on your well-being. Extroverts often don’t like to be alone, and on the other hand introverts tend to prefer it. Of course, just because you tend to be introverted doesn’t mean you want to be alone all the time. Even the most introverted people need a network of support and social connections.
And being outgoing doesn’t mean you’re not able to enjoy your own company. Even if you naturally seek the company of other people, you can learn to enjoy a little of the time you spend with yourself from time to time.
It’s important to remember that being alone and loneliness are two very different things. Loneliness involves being isolated despite wanting social connections, and being alone means taking time between regular social interactions.
The times when loneliness can be beneficial
- When you volunteer.
- When you also have positive relationships.
- When you are able to return to social groups whenever you want.
- When you feel good about spending time alone.
Choosing to be alone can sometimes be rejuvenating, but the important variables are that it’s something you choose and something you enjoy. Being alone is harmful if you feel it as a punishment or if you feel excluded from social connections.
Things you can do while alone
If you’re naturally attracted to other people, it can seem difficult to find activities you enjoy on your own at first. Having some quiet moments where you can be alone can bring a number of benefits, especially if you’re always on the move and struggling to slow down your life and take breaks.
Some things you might want to try:
- Go out to dinner. Eating out often looks like a social experience, but enjoying a good meal by yourself can give you the opportunity to relax and enjoy the experience in peace.
- Go to the movies alone. Anyway it’s not like you go to the movies to socialize in the middle of the movie, but being with other people means you’ll be distracted by wondering what they think of the movie and what they might say next. Watching a movie just means you can completely focus on the story and images in front of you without asking yourself what your peers will think.
- Go to your favorite band or musician on your own. Not only will you be able to see and hear your favorite musicians without having to worry about finding people who want to go with you, watching a concert can only be a great way to meet other people with whom you share common interests. Yes, you are doing an activity on your own, but at the same time, this can be very useful to expand your social circle.
- Go for a walk. Spending time in nature can be great for your health, but sometimes it can be hard to find people who want to go with you. Going alone can give you the opportunity to connect with nature, challenge your body and enjoy peaceful solitude.
- Previous research has shown that nature can have a number of psychological benefits, ranging from restoring attention to relieving stress.
- The researchers suggest that being alone in nature can help people focus their priorities, gain a greater appreciation for relationships, and improve goal setting in the future.
- If you walk alone, take all necessary safety precautions. While the goal is to be alone, make sure someone knows where you’ll be, and you should always have the ability to contact the outside world if needed.
- Going on vacation and traveling alone can seem particularly intimidating, but it can also be an exciting and rewarding way to challenge you and learn new things. Traveling alone is also a great way to develop self-sufficiency and confidence.
- Learn something new. Sign up for a class where you can learn a new skill, whether it’s something like cooking, archery, art, dance, or some other hobby that has always interested you. Instead of focusing on doing what other people want to do, you can look for something that meets your own interests.
- Visit a museum. Instead of feeling rushed or pressured by others, strolling through a museum on your own is a great way to spend time looking at the exhibits that interest you and omit the ones that don’t. It also means that you can appreciate things at your own pace and react to works without asking yourself what other people think.
- Participate in volunteering. Research has shown that prosaically actions such as volunteering can have a number of positive benefits. Look for opportunities in your community where you can spend a little time on a cause you’re passionate about.
The benefits of being alone
Most research suggests that spending too much time in social isolation has serious consequences for both physical and mental health. But there are benefits to spending time alone, as long as you balance it and maintain strong and supportive social connections.
May improve concentration and memory
When you work in a group, you may have to exert less effort to memorize information because you simply assume that others in the group will do it for you, a phenomenon known as social laziness. Working alone on things can help you focus your attention, which can improve your retention and memory.
In a study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin, researchers found that groups that work together with information performed worse than individuals who did it on their own.
Make your interests a priority
It gives you time to focus on your interests. Being alone is an important part of self-development. It allows you to know yourself. When you are surrounded by others, you can set aside your own ideas and passions to satisfy the wants and needs of friends and family. Taking time on your own gives you a critical opportunity to make creative decisions and focus your attention without worrying about what other people are thinking.
Increase your creativity
Group brainstorming is often considered one of the best ways to generate new ideas, but research has found that people are often better at solving difficult problems when working on their own. When group efforts are commonly about reaching consensus and fitting in with the group, working alone fosters innovation without much social pressure.
Improve your relationships
Relationships are usually stronger when each person takes the time to take care of themselves. Even when it comes to friendships, the old adage may be true: a small absence could really make the heart more loving.
A study found that highly intelligent people become less satisfied the longer they spend socializing with friends.
Having friendships and a strong social support system is important for your mental health and well-being, but taking a break and doing so only occasionally can help you appreciate those connections even more.
Being alone makes you more productive
Working as a group is commonly seen as an achievement for improving collaboration and innovation, but it can also be a distraction. Trying to focus on more than one thing at a time has been shown to drastically reduce overall productivity. So, even if you can’t afford to focus on solo projects, you can reduce productivity killers by simply concentrating on one task at a time.
It makes you more empathetic
Research suggests that a certain amount of time alone can actually help you have greater empathy for the people around you. Of course, spending time alone isn’t always easy– especially when technology has transformed the way people spend time alone. Even when you’re alone, you may never take a break to communicate with others. After all, they’re only a text message away.
Even in cases where you can’t get time alone completely, it can be helpful to reduce digital communication for a short time. In one study, researchers found that when teens spent five days without communication devices, they improved their ability to interpret emotions and facial expressions.
Just be careful not to let periods of loneliness turn into social isolation: research has found that loneliness is linked to a decline in empathy.
How to be in solitude?
Being alone is not a natural thing for everyone. If you’re used to surrounding yourself with friends and family or even prefer the company of strangers, learning to appreciate the joys of being alone can take some time.
Make a plan. We can often spend a better time alone when we reserve a specific time to be alone. It must not be a forced isolation that makes us feel withdrawn or antisocial. You can book an afternoon or a weekend for a refreshing “time for me”.
Eliminate distractions. If you’re tempted to work, check social media, or talk on the phone, start by turning off any devices that might distract you. Put your laptop and phone aside and focus on doing something you normally can’t do on your own.
Learn to value loneliness. In an interconnected world that commonly devalues the idea of being alone, it is important to remember the importance of taking the time to live with oneself and one’s own thoughts.
One fascinating study found that participants would rather engage in mundane tasks or even administer small electric shocks to them rather than spend 6 to 15 minutes alone in a room with nothing else to do.
In the study, participants preferred to devote their time to mundane tasks rather than being left alone with their own thoughts. The researchers concluded that most people would rather be doing something, even something negative, than sit back and do nothing.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you should completely escape all forms of external stimulation when you’re alone. The key is to participate in activities that allow you to feel a sense of inner loneliness. Some people may achieve this feeling while listening to music or read a book, while others may require the silence of a peaceful meditation session.
Find what works for you, and then make sure you have regular moments where you can retreat to this mental space of tranquility.
